Why Compassionate Inquiry?

You choose CI because you have a recurring problem that you want to understand. You also want to change something about yourself so that the problem no longer arises, or becomes less painful.

Usually we start from experiences in the present where that problem arises. I ask about physical experiences and emotions in this situation, as well as what does that tell you about yourself. And what does that tell you about yourself. We often find childhood experiences connected to this through that path.

How you reacted to these experiences forms a blueprint for how you will later be in life and relate to others. If we can find the original of the blueprint, we can look at it differently. Namely, from the experience of the child we were, but also with the eyes of the adult we are now. In this way, we can discover what our coping mechanisms are, and we can recalibrate them, so to speak. What was smart and good for us as children usually does not help us now that we are adults.

For me personally, working with CI has made quite a shift in my perception of myself. I stopped being ashamed of who I am. Shame, because I was bullied as a child, was a natural reaction. Shame makes you adapt to your environment and can be a healthy emotion. But if it is a response to an unhealthy situation in childhood, it can, as happened to me, have an inhibiting effect on everything you do.

So in answer to the question why “Compassionate Inquiry?” I would say: Because it makes you more balanced. It keeps you from endlessly mulling over how you should be different.

In my practice, many people report having few childhood memories. That appears to come back precisely by paying attention to bodily reactions.

Others report living from their heads and having little contact with their own bodies. Also in such a situation, CI is great way of working. As children, they had good reasons to cut themselves off from their feelings both physically and emotionally. In a CI session, you can connect with what is going on under the surface inside you in a safe environment and at your own pace.